dentsu India Team

thought leadership

If my house is messy or if there’s no dinner cooked at home when a surprise guest arrives, I wouldn’t feel a smidge of guilt.

But my wife, you ask? You can instantly feel the guilt creeping in. Why does this happen?

Are women more prone to guilt trips than men?

Are they constantly carrying the baggage of being judged for not being enough?

Is it because they are more sensitive and have shorter emotional thresholds? Or are they just designed to believe that ‘taking care’ is their responsibility?

Well, I for one believe it’s the patriarchal mindset, the forced conditioning of how an ideal woman must be, the mold that is set from the birth of a girl, and she is expected to grow to fit into it. Every time she steps out of it or grows a little too big for it, she shrinks with guilt to fit back, as it’s ‘supposed’ to be. It’s partly her own ingrained mindset and the rest are people’s perceptions that make them feel invalidated.

There are multiple guilt triggers that a woman comes across every day, and falls prey to unnecessary stress.

We can feel this pressure to be everything to everyone all the dang time. But REMEMBER, the world can wait. You come first!

Take out the time to do what's best for you, to fill your cup, to foster growth, to cultivate peace, to breed more joy, and to do that that you want to. That is an absolute BLESSING to everyone around you.

Carve out time in your schedule for YOU. Just you. It is your right and you deserve it. Ditch that guilt!

Here’s a list of a few things that women, according to me, should not feel guilty about:

  • Spending extra hours at work
  • Calling for takeout rather than fixing a healthy home-cooked meal
  • Prioritizing friends over family
  • Choosing themselves first
  • Spa days
  • Solo trips
  • Vanity
  • Life choices- Marriage/Career/Children
  • Spending time and money where they want
  • Sexual desires
  • Body shape, size & color
  • Eating too much or too little
  • Having strong opinions
  • Choice of dressing
  • Night outs
  • Having male friends
  • Being over-friendly or less
  • For smiling too much
  • For smiling too less

And the list can go on…

Stop burdening yourself and living with that cloud on your head. The day you break the mold, will be the day you gift your daughters a wonderful life and women around fresh air to be themselves! So JUST BE!

(Aditya Pandit, Associate Director ‑ Media, Carat India)